The New ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ Are Heroes In A Half Baked Shell

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Regardless of what you would think about a series that stars a whole lot of mutated reptile ninjas, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise is quite a bizarre one. It was launched in the early 80’s as a dark spoof of “edgy” comic books, and was noteworthy at the time for being among the first independently published comic books to find substantial success.

However, for most, the “actual” TMNT is represented by the late 80’s Saturday Morning Cartoon, which deviated from the tone of the first comic quite a bit, but was able to unleash the brand into huge mainstream success. Now pretty much everyone knows who the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are, and dozens of unique iterations of this turtle foursome exist inside the pop culture well.

Making it pretty interesting that it took so long for the Turtles to come back to the big screen. After all, this is far from their initial foray in live action: like its comic book counterpart, the 1990 movie is still one of the most successful independently produced movies, and its two sequels were relatively successful also. But since that trilogy finished we have not seen a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie appropriate, disregarding of course the 2007 animated feature (which, yeah, mostly everybody does). However, now the turtles have returned to the live action kingdom and, oh goody, from producer Michael Bay.

That freaked a great deal of internet dwellers out. And after the first trailer premiered, again, people freaked out: the turtles seemed ugly, the tone appeared off, and everything seemed very Transformer-y in layout. We all feared this film would wind up being the things of TMNT-related nightmares, but did it really turn out that way? Is this the tragedy we dreaded it would wind up being? No, it is not. However, to tell you the truth, I almost wish it had been.

I’ve always believed the worst form of film is one which is a frustratingly mediocre, and nothing more. A excellent movie can of course be wonderful, and a dreadful one can be fascinating to study. But a fair film? There is nothing you can do with a film like that – you purchase your ticket, listen to it a little bit as you eat your popcorn, see the ending credits roll by, leave the theatre, and forget about it immediately. , and I think this review will finally wind up representing that. At the end of the day, I am pretty apathetic towards it.

But because that does not make for the most informative of reading material, I guess I will attempt to muster up a little bit of excitement for the discussion. Though I’ve a rather cold response to the movie overall, I have to say that I hated the first 40 minutes or so. It is all April O’Neil (played with the barely current Megan Fox) and small turtles, sharing the DNA of a standard Transformers movie to a T. I do not understand why Hollywood believes that we will need to have human characters occupy a vast majority of the screen time in those major summer blockbusters – I can guarantee you that nobody bought a ticket to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to watch Megan Fox and Will Arnett (in what is possibly the biggest waste of Will Arnett because Sit Down, Shut Up) clumsily banter for 40 minutes, and I could tell that everybody in my theatre was getting pretty antsy for the turtles to produce a considerable appearance.
In case you were wondering, yes, Megan Fox is completely miscast here.

After the turtles did seem, things did get a tad bit more enjoyable. Though this is far from the best interpretation of the four turtles which we have seen, they are adequate enough to make for entertaining characters, and the movie would have been much better if it focused on them rather than the dull ass human characters. Is it really too much to request a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie which truly STARS the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? It’s the exact same exact problem that the Transformer films have, and I won’t ever understand it.

Granted, not everything is perfect on the turtle side: pretty much all of these are stock variations of the Turtles you’d expect, and characters such as Leonardo and Donatello are especially poorly handled. But, once more, there is at least SOMETHING there if the turtles are on screen – and if they are not, there simply is not.

The only issue is that there is so little of it. There is a few poorly done little ones towards the start, one big one towards the center, another large one about twenty minutes afterwards, and a final major one in the long run. Once more, the latter half has plenty, but there is a lot to be desired in the first half of the movie. Read and watch more details on my channel

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